Am I boring you with my updates on the electricity situation here? If so, I’m sorry. Just wanted to bring you up to speed. It’s December now and the power cuts have increased, not lessened, seeming to follow a more random pattern by the day. It’s no longer 12 hours, 7 days; right now it’s just completely random. Power is off many days for 18 hours, from 6 or 7 am till 10 pm (nice, candle light). And when it is on, it can fail any moment, come back any moment. It can be gone for an hour or for two days. Maybe that’s how one makes people appreciate power more? Read the rest of this entry »

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Email!

A guy named Andy Lyles starts off quite promising, sending me an email titled “+ 5 inches or your money back”. Now I do not know what 5 inches he’s talking about but he’s offering me my money back if those 5 inches somehow fail to appear somewhere. Seems like a good offer. But then he kind of spoils it in the actual email itself.

yo Dude

I don’t care why your weenie is so small, but 72% of women do.
They are pretty sure that bigger meat will make their desire
stronger. You have the chance to change your life.

Here http://www.amassed.net you can get the thing.

It will help you for sure.
The remedy can be sent worldwide.
If you wont be satisfied – we will return all you money.
No bullshit.

You see? Quite personal I’d say. Obviously addressed to the wrong person but still, me and my pecker feel slightly insulted.

Next email. A guy called Osamu Adachi, and he informs me he “Never thought that so small ramrod exists.”. His actual email is not much better, if vaguely familiar.

YO dude

I don’t care why your sausage is so small, but 87% of women do.
They are pretty sure that bigger weenie will make their desire
stronger. You have the chance to change your life.

Here http://hemmed.net you can get the thing.

It will help you for sure.
The remedy can be sent worldwide.
If you wont be satisfied – we will return all you money.
No bullshit.

It appears my weenie turned into a sausage and according to Osamu it’s not 72% but 87% of all women who will be turned off by small sausages (maybe they’re more insulting than tiny weenies), but I think he and Andy are in on it together.

A third email in row, a reply this time, from a girl(?) called Sylvia Bippus. She’s taken the ramrod from Osamu and asks me in an email titled “[RE:] could you reply why your one-eyed monster is so short? :)”

hei sir

I don’t care why your ramrod is so small, but 83% of women do.
They are pretty sure that bigger sausage will make their desire
stronger. You have the chance to change your life.

Here http://www.mullahs.net you can get the thing.

It will help you for sure.
The remedy can be sent worldwide.
If you wont be satisfied – we will return all you money.
No bullshit.

Now Sylvia is a woman, I can see that by looking at her name, so I’m tempted to go for her statistics on this one. 83% of all women seem turned off by small ramrods, wienies and one-eyed monsters, and by going to mullahs.net, hemmed.net or amassed.net, you fix that. And if your resulting pecker is any less than 5 inches bigger than before, Andy will give you your money back.